Apnea and the family reunion 

I had a dream this morning

I was at my relatives house celebrating Christmas having laughs and having lunch with each other at the table. It was so good to see them all again full of life and in high spirits.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door

“Hi there I thought I’d bring some friends along” it was my older cousin. I haven’t seen her in years she was a grandmother now. I couldn’t wait to swap stories with her and see the new members of her family. Laugh at tabloid parental advice and talk about our own parenting pitfalls. 

 All these people rushed in after her, all these people I haven’t seen before – extended family waiting to see me. Everyone was hugging me and thanking me for coming to the party. I haven’t felt so happy as being right here, right now, all together just like yesterday. We kept laughing and enjoying ourselves. I could’ve stayed in this moment forever. It was then I realised all these people in my dream were dead.

My phone alarm rang i gasped and choked for air, ripped violently from the womb of sleep. Then reality dawned on me that it was just another day, another day to walk back into the office and carry out a multitude of tasks while accomplishing nothing. Nothing felt special about today. I wish I could’ve went back to that party and saw all those people again. The memories of their faces already becoming washed out, swirled and blended into a pastel coloured singularity.